Oklahoma Meditation

Somewhere in Oklahoma

I stand in an Econolodge parking lot in the dead of night, bronzed by the glow of the Walmart and McDonalds logos across the street. Sodium lights burn in the chilly dark and the only sound is the highway, which sounds like the sea. An hour ago I stood in line at the Gas ‘n Go behind a furious man yelling that the cashier only gave him three Powerball tickets when he should’ve gotten four. I bowed my head and thought about patience and chance. The manager had to intervene. Near pump number nine, a woman in the passenger seat of a jumbo pick-up truck wiped away her tears. She caught me watching her and I looked away. I flipped on the news and learned that we’re still arguing about whether guns kill people and kicking around new ways to ruin the poor.

Standing in the grass near every highway ramp, there’s a man holding a cardboard sign. Sometimes it says veteran, sometimes it says father, it always says hungry. I give him a dollar. I try to do this every day, but I know that it’s nothing. I hate these moments when my nation not only looks ugly and mean, but it feels like a mirror. I stand in the parking lot and think about what to do next.

by James A. Reeves

Richard Swift – GROUND TROUBLE JAW

from Big American Night